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SoshenCloud

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BAI BAI!

1 min read
I'M LEAVING! :D

My new account here: www.rawk-z3r0.deviantart.com

deal wit it. xP
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Uh, so, yeah. I need to update this more often. xP

So, I got a new haircut awhile ago. Never mentioned it up here. I've been trying to get a picture of it to put up on my profiles and places and stuffs but I have no means of getting pictures off my phone and onto the computer. Which sucks.

Uhmm.... I'm really getting into Bomb the Town. I think the project is cool as hell and would love to

SCREW THAT SENTANCE!

HOW THE POOPSHITZ DO I PUT STAMPS UP HERE!?

It should be HTML... right...? Cuz that's what I used to get the should in italics, BUT, when I do the html for embedding an image THIS POPS UP INSTEAD:

fc01.deviantart.com/fs17/f/200…

:D

Uhm... So... There was stuff that was going to go here that I was going to put before I went to school, but then I went to school and now they aren't up here. =D

Pimpage: www.DENuntld.deviantart.com
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BEEYARGLESNARF.

1 min read
Yeah, gonna be gone for two weeks, so, yeah.

Fuck, the deviation section in my message center is going to murder me when I get back. D:

RAWRHERE'SSOMETHINGWEMADE!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLRO7i…
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QUIZ!!!!

Spell your name with your...

1. Fingers: Rawk

2. Chin: REDaSZweko

3. One finger: Rawk

4. Elbow: Rawk (HOW THE FUCK DID I DO THAT!?!?!)

5. Nose: RAWK

6. Palm: Rawek, (<-- That one wasn't so bad either... I should enter body typing competitions.)

1) List four fandoms you have: Xenomorphs (from the Alien series), Digimon, Curiah City, Ergo Proxy

2) Have you ever slept in the back of a car? Yeah, it's fun.

3) Have you recently dyed or cut your hair?
I will be bleaching and dying it silver on may 10th

4) List four people you look up to the most.
Vincent Law, Taichi Yagami, O.T., Ninjas

5) How many pets do you currently own?
one- a ferret, but as soon as I get cash, I'm buying a whole crap load of them.

6) Which do you prefer, white or black?
Both together

7) Who is your most played character?
A character named Blue (no, not the one from Wolf's Rain; I didn't even know that show existed when I made the character.

8) Choose one or the other, not both:
-Stuck on an island with your best friend- Yeah, I'd go with this one.

-Stuck on an island with 5 acquaintances

9) Write 3 aspects that tell who you are:
Goofy
Creative
Lazy

10) If you could have a power, what would it be?
To control the ambitions of others

11) Who was the last person you talked to?
Erick Eckberg

12) Who was the last person you said "I love you" to?
Erick Eckberg

13) Write the first 5 words that pop into your head:
I'm gonna go eat brownies.

14) What's the one thing you wish you could do better?
DRAW

15) Do you like the way you are?
More so than not

16) Choose Summer or Winter:
Snow...

17) Choose Rain or Snow:
Rain

18) Choose Water or Ice:
Water is so much friggin fun

19) List 2 odd things about yourself:

umm....
1. I like popping zits, lol

2. I rarely remember any of the dreams I have when I wake up.
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angsty bitch.

4 min read
I Dunno... I guess I'm just scared or something... I feel like... I'm not sure, it's just I'm so unsure of everything...

"I have to go to college" bullshit like that... it's just... fuck...

I remember this one time, me and my friends took a train down to chinatown, and we'd just cross the street, when a poor man came up to us. He asked if he could draw a picture of us for a $1.50... We said no. he told us how, "You have to understand, I was in prison, and one day I just picked up this pencil and this pad of paper right here and just started drawing. It saved my life. It was a miracle; God gave me this skill from nowhere. It was a miracle!" We passed him on like every other poor person who approached us in the city... or... anywhere for that matter.

Fuck, I'm so fucking afraid of that... I need something to tell me it'll be allright, that I can stop lying to myself, now, and I'll still be okay.


As far as I know I was put on this earth to direct films. That's what I feel in me. Or, at least, I FELT it. Now I'm not so sure... I was sitting in film class, and it happened over a series of 2 or 3 days... It's all because of Citizen Kane... The teacher told us about how people can have everything, and feel like they have nothing. I've heard of that sort of thing before, and every time it's talked about, the feeling of emptyness is described as a hole. A hole inside them.

I thought about it- Was I one of those people? The one's that will never find true happiness, no matter how successful they are? Would that be me?

It didn't matter if I was after that thought. That's when it hit me. This wave of discomfort within myself. It just barely touched the toes of my soul that day, but over the next few hours in that class, the tide rose and washed over my ankles... my legs... then the rest of me, pulling me down and drowning me. I'm still under that water, drowned, or drowning... I haven't given up, yet, so... I guess I'm still drowning... I hope so, anyways. I don't wish to give up, not yet anyways. I'd rather live out my life first.

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is... I lost the feeling of that purpose, now... I, for the longest time, knew that there was nothing left of me but film. Creating it, directing it, scripting it. It's what I HAD to do. Nothing, and I do, truely mean NOTHING else mattered. But since we watched that film, nothing has made me feel that same way. I just pretend. I pretend I feel that way when scripting, when reading... all of it, I just pretend it is there, and do my best to will it to be there, but.... It's gone... I'm just hoping, in my tear-filled mourning that I find it once more... Because if I can't... I just... I don't think there's anything left for me. Might as well leave and find out what's going on in the rest of the world. Find myself "out there", wherever that may lead to.

Don't know why I'm writing this here... Just needed someplace to vent, I guess. I remembered that guy in chinatown and had to type something, somewhere before I went insaine. Thanks for listening.
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Featured

BAI BAI! by SoshenCloud, journal

Eeeeee*fart* yeah. That's what I thought. by SoshenCloud, journal

BEEYARGLESNARF. by SoshenCloud, journal

I stole this from yamer's journal by SoshenCloud, journal

angsty bitch. by SoshenCloud, journal